Life's Lessons

When I consider the biggest lessons I have learned in life they have been at the times that have provided me with great discomfort. And it has been an opportunity to come out the other side with clarity and understanding.

The fact is that life is always throwing us curve balls whether it be redundancy, a life changing accident, divorce or death. Whatever it is, there is always something to grow from.

20 years ago, I would not have been able to write this, I was on the other side of having cared for a family member for 9 years, my marriage fell to pieces, I become a single mother and I was feeling shame and embarrassment. For several years I was bitter and angry, I felt horrible, I felt incredibly sad and this manifested into panic attacks and anxiety. This was a time of life I was forced to face some pretty ugly demons.

I now look back on this time with gratitude because today I am better for lessons I learned. This has not been my only challenge in life and each time life throws something difficult my way I have learned to greet it, to welcome it and accept the lesson I will learn. I’m not going to lie, it’s not always easy, my God, it can be so so painful and of course these experiences always catch us off guard.

Here are some things that I have learned that are useful.

• Talk – talking it out, gets it out. whether this be with a trusted person or professional councillor.
• Walk – any kind of moving is good. Constant thinking causes more energy with in our body and produces endorphins that build up in our bodies so getting active helps to burn it down.
• Meditate – Science supports the benefits of this practice, it provides a resting place for the mind and an opportunity to gain clarity and understanding of your thoughts and emotions. Neuroscience tells us that actually naming what you’re thinking as exactly that  - a thought, lowers the energy in that part of the brain and increases the energy in the part that’s just noticing.
• Music – think about how you feel when you listen to certain music or songs, what do you notice in your body if it’s a sad song? What do you notice if it’s more upbeat and happy? Choosing uplifting music helps to lift the spirits. Amp up this benefit by dancing along to it. “Dance like no one is watching”
• Humour – Laughter is the best medicine. When we laugh there is a massive rush of feel good chemicals to our bodies that feels so good. If you are having trouble finding it. YouTube is a great resource for this.
• Relationships - Be mindful of the people you place yourself around, don’t wait to be asked to go out or to catch up, you be the organiser and if people can’t make it, don’t take it personally.
• Be comfortable with uncomfortable – as strange as this may sound, this will be your greatest gift. You are already very good at this.
• Look for the silver lining – Whatever you look for, you will find it. If you look for the bad, you will find it, Look for the good or the lesson and the opportunity.
• Know your Strengths – I can never share enough, just how useful this is, it helps you understand what drives you and enables you to see the strengths in others and this helps to build better relationships.

Some other resources you might find useful are –
VIA Character Strengths
Smiling Mind
Sherly Sandberg Option B           
Mood Metre App
YouTube funny videos
Action for Happiness