Redundancy,
No matter which way you look at it, its and unsettling word. Experiencing it is even more so. Both my son and I have experienced redundancy in the last 10 months and both of us at very different stages of life. For both of us there is no doubt the experience was incredibly stressful and filled with uncertainty because of the nature of our work. Something that contributed to the difficulty was that we both worked in the same place and the day my son was made redundant was hard. As I walked into work that morning, I knew why he and his supervisor were sitting outside of HR. Being me, I had to stop for a chat. I checked in with my boy and I could see the discomfort of the experience in his supervisors eyes. Even though the nature of the work meant that we knew the project would come to an end, there was always hope that there would be a smooth transition into another project. Redundancy is not easy for anyone and it is important to acknowledge the impact the process has on leadership Understanding the very real possibility of redundancy in the industry we were in, we had both had the conversation between ourselves, our families and colleagues for support. And had thought about a plan of action. I have to say that even though you understand the circumstance it doesn’t take away that feeling, I would liken to ending a relationship. My son is a tradesman and very quickly found work. For me the experience of being called to an office to say that your role was at risk and being put on 2 weeks’ notice was unexpected and out of the blue at the time. The difficulty of the process is feeling so isolated because, people avoid you, not knowing what to say. You don’t know what to do with your work because potentially you won’t have a job in 2 weeks and it feels like no one knows what is going on. And then, there you are, as if drifting in the ocean with nothing to cling to as the reality hits and it all starts to sink in. The first week was good and to tell you the truth, it’s a bit of a blur and by the second week I was sick in bed. There was a period of grief and a real desire to want to take care of everyone else in the same situation. What really helped was speaking to others who had experienced redundancy before. Hearing their story was confirmation that what I was experiencing was a relatively normal part of the process and gave a sense of hope and a feeling like I wasn’t alone. Many people said “take your time to absorb the situation and not rush to make the next move”. I have to admit the sense of urgency to find my place again was greater than the message. And I soon learned for myself that this time is necessary to absorb the situation, to accept the reality and begin to refocus. Here’s what has helped me through redundancy.
Don't be afraid to seek the guidance of a professional. During the redundancy process, workplaces provide details for their Employee Assistance Program (EAP), see your Dr who can assist with a mental health care plan or seek out a mentor as these resources are valuable for travelling this road. Wishing you Wellbeing Kind regards Leanne
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Hi Coch-a-lora, jig, jig, jig.
Have you ever seen a monkey riding on a pig? Well, have you??? Every birthday celebration we had was something to look forward to. Right up to her last year, it was something very special at family gatherings. We would sing happy birthday, and then Mum Mum would, light up and sing “why was she/he born so beautiful, why was she born at all? Because she had no say in it, not say in it at all. Every time with out fail, she would then go on and then say as fast as she could. “Hi Coch-a-lora, jig, jig, jig. Have you ever seen a monkey riding on a pig?” “Well, have you???” She would ask. We would all laugh and join in. Everyone looked forward to this part of the gathering. This continues at birthday celebrations and is a wonderful way that my beautiful Mum Mum is still included and remembered at special times. As difficult and challenging it was caring for Mum Mum at times, it was these occasions that were very special. Full of love and joy and so much fun. You know over the last month, When I have been reading the journal that I kept all of those years ago, it has been an emotional ride of remembering just how challenging it was being a carer. How often lonely and isolating it could be. And there is no way I would have changed this. Yeah, maybe done some things differently, but that is the funny thing about hindsight isn’t it? The challenging times were challenging and difficult. It was very hard emotionally especially in the beginning as we started to notice the changes in this beautiful, strong and resilient woman. And the special times were ever so special, those moments of cheekiness, the singalongs. Oh my god the singalongs, Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag … is one I remember very well that we would sing quite often. And although she wasn’t an overly religious woman, she would often sing – Jesus loves me, this I know. On reflection I wonder it if was a kind of comfort for her as she would often say. “Somethings not right...” It was a different time back then. There wasn’t the medication there is today to manage this and so much has changed in that time around dementia awareness and understanding the body and brain. This week is my birthday and my beautiful Mum Mum will be in my heart, in my laughter and the fun we have together as a family. September is Dementia Awareness Month, I am sharing my experience with excerpts of my journal that I kept and that was an important tool for my wellbeing throughout this time. It is my heart felt hope that my small action of sharing will make a big difference and contribute towards building an understanding of some of the challenges families face as this condition brings about change in a person you love. Wishing you Wellbeing. Leanne. September is Dementia Awareness Month.
I am sharing my experience with excerpts of my journal that I kept, and that was an important tool for my wellbeing throughout this time, while caring for someone I loved. Research suggests that every three seconds someone in the world develops dementia. It is my heart felt hope that my small action of sharing will make a big difference and contribute towards building an understanding of some of the challenges families face as this condition brings about change in a person you love. Mum Mum called my boys the “little fellas” my daughter came along the year she passed away and she just loved them all so much. Every morning they would sit together and have breakfast and we all had fun throughout the day. Some days weren’t so easy though. Like this day. How do you explain to and 2 and a 3-and-a-half-year-old they could not do what she was asking of them, there were tantrums brought on from this confusion? It was not easy as in their eyes she was an adult and how do you even start trying to explain this to children this little. I don’t know how I stayed calm, I just did. I just knew that fighting the issue wouldn’t help. I learned to remove the kids from the situation as best I could. This type of situation didn’t happen all of the time but when it did, it was very hard. I knew she couldn’t help it, and I tried my best to explain to my kids what was happening and somehow, they got it. January 20 1996 This evening Mum Mum was rounding up the boys, telling them it was time to go home. I tried to discreetly tell them that they couldn’t go with her. How could I explain that she couldn’t look after two little boys properly? Mum Mum heard me tell the boys, they couldn’t go with her, and was confused by them becoming upset which added fuel to the fire. I asked Josh who had become upset to calm down, in his frustration he threw a stone at me. I told him off. Mum Mum then set upon me, slapping me in the head and on my arms. I picked up my boys and bought them into the house in an attempt to diffuse the situation. She came into the house shortly after still agitated and confused. I explained calmly that they were my children “You Liar” she said and hit at me. I asked her not to do it. The hardest thing in this situation was I was unable to cry, I was unable to show my children I had feelings. I was numb. September is Dementia Awareness Month, I am sharing my experience with excerpts of my journal that I kept and that was an important tool for my wellbeing throughout this time. It is my heart felt hope that my small action of sharing will make a big difference and contribute towards building an understanding of some of the challenges families face as this condition brings about change in a person you love. According to Dementia Australia, Dementia is the umbrella term for a number of neurological conditions, of which the major symptom includes a global decline in brain function. Here is my journal entry from September 7th, 1995. Oh boy! What a day this is turning out to be, we have been out driving all over town. Mum mum wanted to see her mother. I offered to take her to the cemetery to visit her grave. No! She said, I…want … to …see… my… mother. I realised very quickly that if I said she was no longer here that it would agitate her, so I chose to validate her wish. We got in the car, her in the front and the dog and my boys in their seats in the back. I asked her to show me where to go. We drove up the road with no real direction and ended up in the next town. “Where to now Mum Mum?” I asked. There was no sense of direction, so I continued on with her looking out for her mum and chatting to the boys as we drove past the cows. I drove a different way home and parked out the front of her home that she no longer lives in. We talked about it for a short while and then she said “but I don’t want to be here, I’ve got to get home to my mother in Houghton, I told her we were in Houghton and she replied “Yes, but this isn’t the real Houghton. She was adamant she had to be some place else. So, I went home go the nappy bag for my baby and off we went on a longer drive to the Gully, we went to the post office and paid some bills, got some petrol in the car and then came home. We went inside had a cup of tea and now every thing is Ok. Mum Mum was born and raised in the township we lived in, so I never thought of it as a figment of her imagination I figured she might be remembering. From experience and reading, I learned that if I made a fuss or disregarded what she was saying, then, it would get difficult. I learned to validate as best I could. The alternative would upset her, she would become disorientated and agitated. So I did what she wanted, as best I could. Wishing you well Leanne |
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