Incivility...

​“People will forget what you said, they will forget what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel” - Mia Angelou


You are speaking in a meeting, and someone is looking down at their phone or typing away on their lap top. You talk, and someone talks over you, or you send an email and you don’t get a reply. Sound familiar?
 

The way we treat one another at work matters, it affects morale, self-worth, causes unnecessary stress and when we are bothered by the actions of others it affects our productivity, creativity and our relationships. Often we are so caught up in the demands placed on us that this is just an automatic symptom of the circumstance that can be perceived as rudeness.


Incivility affects our brains in ways we aren’t even aware of and it can be dangerous, when we are preoccupied thinking about perceived rudeness our mind is filled with thoughts of events or scenarios, we miss opportunities to be more collaborative and productive and we withhold effort and information for fear of being ridiculed. This then affects morale, our relationships at work and our mental health. We have a bigger effect on others than we think.


How do you want to affect others at work? Christine Porath, Author of Civility at work asks. Are you lifting people up or are you holding them down?
 
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When we treat people well, we build stronger relationships, people listen and are willing to work together to get results. Our minds are sensitive, and they are thinking all the time. You have the ability to affect someone’s day, to make them feel like a somebody or a nobody.



Today, no matter who you are or who you pass in the workplace, make them feel valued.

• Smile and connect with others

 

• Before reacting be mindful, tap in to what’s going on within you, maybe save that email reply filled with frustration to drafts and come back to it with a fresh mindset before sending.

 

• Ask yourself if you are being respectful or rude

 

• If you are taking notes to your lap top or phone let the presenter know prior so that they feel respected and are not distracted.

 

• If you can’t answer your emails promptly – consider setting an auto reply with a timeframe in which you will get back to them.

These are just some suggestions that will help to build and influence our relationships at work.


You can take Christine Poraths Civility test at http://www.christineporath.com/assess-yourself/

Wishing You Wellbeing
​Leanne.